Men's Health Australia Content

Robyn Urback on shocking anti-male hatred on the SFU campus (Canada)

Men's Health Australia — Sun, 20 May 2012 13:24:00 +0000

The student union at Simon Fraser University in B.C. has made the apparently contentious decision to finance the creation of a Men’s Centre on campus. Motivated, surely, by deep-seeated patriarchal values, the union approved a budget of $30,000 to launch the project — the exact same amount conferred on the university’s Women’s Centre, which was established back in 1974. The idea for the Men’s Centre was proposed by fifth-year accounting student Keenan Midgley, who told SFU’s student newspaper that he believes men, too, are entitled to safe space on campus.

Unsurprisingly, however, not everyone at SFU is thrilled with the decision. The Women’s Centre, for one, coolly brushed off the idea of a stand-alone Men’s Centre on its website, simply stating that, “the men’s centre is everywhere else.” They did say they would welcome a men’s centre that focused on “challenging popular conceptions about masculinity, confronting homophobia, sexism, racism, classism, and ability issues.” In contrast, they would oppose a men’s centre that “focussed on maintaining the old boys club … that promotes the status quo, encourages sexual assault, or fosters an atmosphere of competition and violence.” Oh. OK, then. Good to know.

Several other students have taken a more direct approach, compiling their objections to the Men’s Centre in widely-circulated five-minute YouTube video. Deeming the project “not financially responsible,” students take turns expressing their grievances. One woman with seemingly impeccable foresight declares that, “The Men’s Centre will end up being a place to celebrate hegemonic masculinity.” She later attacks the credibility of the Centre’s proponents, scoffing that they have, “no experience being in a gender-studies class.”

Men, too, join in the criticism of the proposed Centre, one curiously warning that it may “become a highly masculinized space.” Another cautions that the project risks creating a “heteronormative space,” while yet another critical male dismisses the Men’s Centre as simply, “a room with a PS3 and a bunch of douchebags playing games.”

Bravo, students. In your attempt to decry the proposed Men’s Centre on all of its supposed merits, you have effectively demonstrated why such a space is so very necessary. At present, there is only one other Canadian campus with an official support centre for men — the Men’s Resource Centre at the University of Manitoba. Judging by the crass sociology catch phrases in the aforementioned video, the consensus is that young men don’t need community resources or support. That is a myth.

While statistics show that comparatively, far fewer university-aged men are diagnosed with depression than women, the rate of suicide among men is four times as great. It’s not hard to connect the dots: men are suffering in silence. And it’s not hard, either, to see why. If the assumption on campus is that men have no use for a resource centre other than meeting up with new PlayStation buddies, it becomes that much more difficult for them to break down the barrier of bravado.

Men, like women, struggle with issues of victimization, anxiety, and depression, but they must battle in addition with a societal expectation of stoicism. In short — it’s not manly to talk about your feelings. And it’s precisely for that reason that a Men’s Centre on campus is such a necessary initiative.

If brought to fruition, the Men’s Centre at SFU might also come with additional boons; namely, the latent effect of debunking some of the prejudicial, discriminatory, and misandrous views (see kids? I can play too) so blatantly expressed in the YouTube video.

Of course, I don’t have a gender studies degree, so consider it mere speculation.

National Post

Robyn Urback is a Toronto-based writer.

Source: Robyn Urback on shocking anti-male hatred on the SFU campus (http://fullcomment.nationalpost.com/2012/05/20/robyn-urback-on-shocking-anti-male-hatred-on-the-sfu-campus/)

Men on the Move retreat

Men's Health Australia — Sun, 20 May 2012 12:12:11 +0000

There are just a couple of spots left for the Men on the Move retreat for men at Serpentine this coming weekend.

If this has interest for you, we invite you to join with the other men who also seek a greater understanding of themselves; want to improve their management of issues around relationships, parenting, families and maybe careers; are looking to improve their self-care around health and wellbeing; and want to learn more about how we function, maintain ourselves and strive for fulfilment in the 21st Century

We invite you to join us to explore processes that set up a toolbox of new skills to use in your special journey into the future:

MEN ON THE MOVE

A toolbox approach to men’s personal development

WHEN –Friday 25^th May 6.00PM to Sunday 27^th May 3.00PM 2012

WHERE – Serpentine Retreat Centre - A well-appointed facility about 1 hour’s drive south of Perth.

COST – $395 inc 2 Night’s accommodation and all the fantastic meals we provide.

Private health insurance rebates may be available from some providers or Medicare (with a suitable referral from a GP). Check with Geoff for information about this.

For further information contact

Geoff Paull 08 9272 1666 - geoff@pathwaystoachievement.com

OR Wes Carter 08 9337 8434 - menswork@iinet.net.au

OR Go straight to our website: www.mensworkproject.org.au

Bookings – Please visit our website at www.mensworkproject.org.au and complete the online Client & Bookings form found under the ‘Our Programs’ heading.

Fond regards
Wes Carter and Geoff Paull

Source: Men on the Move (http://www.mensworkproject.org.au/)

Prostate Cancer Specialist Nursing Service

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 15 May 2012 22:41:43 +0000

Prostate Cancer Foundation of Australia Prostate Cancer Specialist Nursing Service

The Prostate Cancer Specialist Nursing Service is a new national program to help those affected by prostate cancer The service will be delivered by a team of expert prostate cancer nurses in all states and territories across Australia.

They will help those affected by prostate cancer by:

Providing a point of contact and support for patients and carers
Assisting patients to access services in their community both during and after treatment
Providing reliable information about diagnosis and treatment plans
Co-ordinating care wherever a patient is in their cancer journey.

Meet Lauren Wood, the new PCFA Prostate Cancer Specialist Nurse at Royal Adelaide Hospital

"Any cancer diagnosis causes huge levels of anxiety and certainly men with prostate cancer can experience an enorvnous lack of control over themselves and their bodies. They are faced with a great deal of uncertainty and, in some cases, sadness and depression.

An important difference with prostate cancer is the degree of choice. Men have varied treatment alternatives with different results and side-effects that can be very personal and distressing, from incontinence to erectile dysfunction.

So they need to be made aware of the full picture right from the start. They need to be communicated with directly, as do their significant others. A Prostate Cancer Specialist Nurse has expert knowledge in the treatment of the cancer and management of side-effects, to be able to coordinate and streamline care and provide effective support. In my case, I have a background in oncology and urology nursing.

Building trust and a rapport where you are in a position to reassure and empower men and their families is also very important.

700 prostate cancer patients come through this hospital a year. I will be extremely busy trying to see everyone! But I hope to be there at or just after diagnosis and in the treatment planning phase. Also by email and in business hours over the phone to discuss how men are feeling and support their decision-making.

I'm a point of reference through the entire cycle of a man's cancer journey. If there are any questions, I can refer them on to other specialists, both medical and in the community, for management of side effects plus any other issues they might have.

My ultimate goal is to see men feeling better, whatever they are facing."

Help us raise $350,000 by 30 June so that we can plan for additional nurses to help more men like Terry.

Click here to download the PCFA flyer as a PDF.

Source: Prostate Cancer Specialist Nursing Service (http://mhaweb.squarespace.com/storage/files/PCFA_Specialist_Nursing_Service.pdf)

The Middle Men (UK TV Documentary)

Men's Health Australia — Sun, 13 May 2012 01:14:37 +0000

The Middle Men

Wednesday 30 May, 10:00pm

The concept of ‘middle age’ is changing as recent generations are living longer and healthier lives. Men in the 21st Century are entering their ‘second adulthoods’ in radically different ways than their fathers. Yet new social changes – feminism, an uncertain economy, and a reported sense of ‘confusion’ among men and their roles in today’s society – mean new challenges.

AUSTRALIAN PREMIERE - Exclusive to bio

Source: The Middle Men (TV Documentary) (http://www.biographychannel.com.au/featureddetail.aspx?ID=1298)
Source: Documentary Website (http://www.themiddlemenfilm.com )

Hair loss and self-esteem

Men's Health Australia — Thu, 03 May 2012 03:26:31 +0000

Approximately 60% of Australian men will suffer significant hair loss by the age of 50, and 80% of men will experience hair loss in their lifetime. For many men, hair loss has a detrimental effect on their self-esteem, leading to issues in aspects of daily life – from work to love and relationships.

Almost every human culture, religion and age has portrayed hair as a symbol of strength, virility and power. To this day, we are bombarded with glossy magazine photos and television images of desirable men with healthy, shiny and thick hair. We live with the perception that balding men are somehow weaker and should not be taken seriously.

In an article in the British Journal of Psychology, research showed that balding men had significant lower self-esteem than their peers, suffered more from depression, were less likely to succeed and overall were less social.

Many men who have hair loss also suffer from anxiety and stress, which can cause their hair loss to become worse or occur at a faster rate. These effects appear to be more prevalent if hair loss began in a man’s early twenties.

But there are ways to stop letting hair loss affect your self esteem:

Accept that hair loss is a normal part of aging. Whether we like it or not, we’re all getting older, and balding happens to be a part of it.
Realise that you’re not alone. 8 out of 10 men experience balding, so there’s no reason to feel self conscious about your hair loss.
Make it part of your look. Rather than putting up with your bald patches, why not go for a short buzz cut that will make them less obvious? Or, if you’re really brave, shave it all off!
Use a natural supplement that will nourish your hair. There are many natural hair restorative products on the market that not only reduce hair loss, but also promote the faster growth of healthier and well-nourished hair.

Whatever you do, don’t let hair loss be the reason for not getting the most out of life!

About the author: Andrew Tran is the General Manager of Hair Restore Advanced, a natural hair loss product that helps men manage their hair loss, hair thinning, hair fall and premature greying hair. Visit www.hairrestoreadvanced.com.au for more information.

What about the men? White Ribbon, men and violence: a response to Dr Michael Flood by Men’s Health Australia

Men's Health Australia — Fri, 30 Mar 2012 03:47:45 +0000

The White Ribbon Foundation is an organisation that works to prevent male violence towards women – a goal that is extremely worthy and worth supporting. The White Ribbon website states that “all forms of violence are unacceptable,” however in 2009 the organisation issued a document to it’s male Ambassadors which used erroneous ‘facts and statistics’ to downplay, diminish and report incorrectly about male victims of violence. These Ambassadors use federal government funding to take the White Ribbon message into regional, rural and remote communities. These significant errors could have led the Ambassadors, and through them the general public via federal funding, to be misled about the nature and dynamics of interpersonal violence in Australia.

Some of the dangerous myths about violence circulated in the document include claims that men are less likely than women to experience violence within family and other relationships; that we don’t yet know the impact of violence on men’s overall health; and that there is no evidence that male victims are less likely to report domestic violence than are female victims.

Men’s Health Australia – Australia’s primary source of information about the social and psychological wellbeing of men and boys – contacted White Ribbon with its concerns about this document. Men’s Health believes that violence prevention is not a competition: that governments and NGOs can work to prevent violence against women and violence against men. We believe it isn’t necessary for White Ribbon to downplay, diminish or report incorrectly about male victims of violence in order to highlight the tragedy of female victims of violence. The horrific statistics about violence against women speak for themselves.

Men’s Health Australia are fully supportive of all attempts to reduce violence against women. However we believe it is essential that a high-profile organisation such as the White Ribbon Foundation provides its Ambassadors and the general public with an accurate picture of violence in Australian society, especially when in receipt of federal government funding. It is only when we start with an accurate picture of violence that we can take the necessary steps to reduce its incidence and impact. If we start with an inaccurate picture, our violence-prevention strategies are bound to be less effective, and could potentially cause harm – especially to children.

White Ribbon’s initial response to our concerns was five months of silence. Once we pursued the matter we were sent a response to our concerns written by Dr Michael Flood – a White Ribbon Ambassador and Lecturer in Sociology at the University of Wollongong with a long involvement in community advocacy and education work focused on men’s violence against women. This response failed to address our core concern: that it isn’t necessary for White Ribbon to downplay, diminish or report incorrectly about male victims of violence in order to highlight female victims of violence.

In addition, Dr Flood’s response:

Failed to address a number of our specific concerns about statistical and factual errors
Contained more errors than the original document when responding to other specific concerns
Resorted to ad hominem attacks in an apparent attempt to discredit Men’s Health Australia
Failed to successfully challenge any of Men’s Health’s specific concerns.

Fortunately the White Ribbon Foundation appointed a new CEO, Libby Davies in early 2011, who appears to have adopted a fresh approach to working with men’s organisations. Men’s Health met with her in May 2011 and discussed ways in which our two organisations might be able to respectfully co-exist in the future. Some ideas floated included:

To agree on a common set of statistics/data on which to base our work
To both issue media releases in areas where we overlap (e.g. genuine respectful relationships programs for boys and girls)
For both organisations, as much as possible, to avoid gender competition in our work (i.e. ‘men vs women’ thinking) and simply lobby for our respective constituents (e.g. instead of saying “women experience x times as much domestic violence as men”, just say “x% of women experience domestic violence” and likewise for men).

On 11th March 2012, the Fatherhood Foundation’s weekly e-Newsletter titled The High Cost of Being Right re-published our November 2010 media release. As a result readers have contacted us questioning the veracity of Dr Flood’s response to criticisms of White Ribbon materials made by Men’s Health Australia. We felt it appropriate to respond, not in any effort to attack the White Ribbon Foundation, and certainly not to ignite any gender competition, but simply to set the public record straight. This document is that response.

We are hopeful that this issue will now be put to rest and that White Ribbon and Men’s Health can move forward to work side-by-side to reduce all violence in Australia. White Ribbon’s core concern is preventing male violence against women; Men’s Health’s core concern is preventing violence against men and boys (by men and women); other organisations are working to prevent child abuse, elder abuse, lesbian domestic violence and other forms of violence and abuse. There should be no competition for victimhood – all victims of violence and abuse deserve services and support.

Download full response by Men's Health Australia

Source: What about the men? White Ribbon, men and violence: a response to Dr Michael Flood by Men’s Health Australia (http://www.menshealthaustralia.net/storage/files/a_response_to_dr_michael_flood_by_mens_health_australia.pdf)

Men's Health Peer Education Magazine

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 08:34:19 +0000

The Men's Health Peer Education (MHPE) program was funded as part of the supplementary package of support provided by the Australian Government in response to the validated findings of the Vietnam Veterans' Health Study.

The MHPE program trains volunteers to provide health information to their veteran peers to assist them in making informed lifestyle choices around their health. The program is open to all veterans or partners of veterans.

To support the MHPE volunteer network and program, a magazine is produced. Articles are contributed by MHPE volunteers; health professionals and DVA staff.

The magazine is available online and may be downloaded as a PDF document:

Current Issue

Previous Issues

You can also order a copy of the Men's Health Peer Education Magazine by completing the following order form (PDF) and emailing it to .

Source: Men's Health Peer Education Magazine (http://www.dva.gov.au/health_and_wellbeing/physical_health/mhpe/mag/Pages/magazine.aspx)

Men's Quick Health Check online resource

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 20 Mar 2012 08:24:44 +0000

MHPE provides a Men's Quick Health Check online resource

For the under 50's

Health checks are important for the under 50s and are recommended on a 2 to 3 yearly basis unless you have been diagnosed with a health problem.

For the over 50's

To help you manage your health and wellbeing we have developed a quick health quiz.

Take the quick quiz for the over 50's

For further information on Men’s Health Peer Education, please phone 133 254 (metro) or 1800 555 254 (country).

Source: Men’s Quick Health Check (http://www.dva.gov.au/health_and_wellbeing/physical_health/mhpe/Pages/health_checklist.aspx)

Masters Degree in Family Studies

Men's Health Australia — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 07:47:53 +0000

The Family Action Centre in conjunction with Interrelate Family Centres is developing a Masters Degree in Family Studies. They would like this program to assist you to meet your organisation's changing needs for qualified staff, and to be relevant and applicable to many different professions employed in your sector. They have developed a short survey consulting with organisations and individuals about the needs for post graduate qualifications in the sector.

The Family Action Centre would be greatly appreciative if you could do ONE or BOTH of the following:

1. Complete the survey yourself;

AND/OR

2. Pass the survey on to someone in your organisation who you believe is well placed to respond, either on behalf of the organisation, describing the educational needs for post graduate qualifications in the workforce as a whole; or as an individual who may consider post graduate study themselves.

To complete the survey, click on the link below or paste it into your browser:

https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/7662GTT

The Family Action Centre will use the responses from the survey to tailor the Masters program to the needs of the sector and they will keep you informed of the possibilities for post graduate study if you indicate an interest in further information.

Please do not hesitate to contact Deborah Hartman on 02 49216749 or by email Deborah.hartman@newcastle.edu.au if you have any queries.

Kind regards,

Lucy Bollard
Project Officer
Family Relationship Services Australia (FRSA)
PO Box 326, DEAKIN WEST ACT 2600
t 02 6162 1811
f 02 6162 1794
www.frsa.org.au

CLARIFICATION REGARDING POST-GRADUATE FAMILY STUDIES PROGRAM SURVEY

The Family Action Centre and Interrelate Family Centres wants to thank those of you who have already filled out the survey about a proposed Masters in Family Studies. There is clearly a lot of interest in post-graduate study in the sector.

The survey question No 11, on content areas that may be relevant to your workforce, did not list all individual courses available in the proposed program. The Family Action Centre and Interrelate Family Centres are pleased to advise that a specific course on Family and Domestic Violence is included in the broad practice areas of Post-separation service practice, Family Dispute Resolution, Family Counselling and Well-being of children and young people. The issues of family and domestic violence and child abuse will also be covered in several other courses in the proposed Masters program. Our apologies for not making the important areas of Domestic and Family Violence and Child Abuse explicit in this question.

The Family Action Centre and Interrelate Family Centres cannot change the survey now to make these options explicit, but please rest assured that they are included in the program. If you have not yet completed the survey, and are interested in issues of Family & Domestic Violence please select Post-separation service practice, Family Dispute Resolution and/or Family Counselling. You can also indicate a specific interest by selecting other and stating your interest. The Family Action and Interrelate Family Centres Centre will keep you informed about the availability of this proposed national post-graduate program.

Source: Masters Degree in Family Studies (https://www.surveymonkey.com/s/7662GTT)

The Odyssey Program: In School Workshops For Adolescent Boys

Men's Health Australia — Sat, 17 Mar 2012 07:14:27 +0000

The Odyssey Program is here to help Australian teenage boys become the best men they can be!

The Program visits secondary schools with a fun and engaging day of workshops jam-packed with information and activities guaranteed to have everyone thinking a little differently. (Teachers included!)

Our passionate aim is to challenge adolescent males to open up and discuss issues that affect them all.

Through interactive education and a sharing of life experiences, we hope to provide the boys with a set of tools that will assist them in taking positive action toward their own growth into manhood.

The Odyssey Program is founded on the basic cornerstones of understanding, respect, personal responsibility and the innate human search for happiness. The program draws on the insights of traditional wisdom and modern research to focus directly on the needs of boys today. It is suitable for all schools.

Please take the time to explore our website. We hope you will share our enthusiasm and we invite you to invite us to your school to help make a difference.

Help us reach a nation of young heroes as they embark on life's great journey!

Source: The Odyssey Program: In School Workshops For Adolescent Boys (http://www.odysseyprogram.com.au/)

Men's Health Week is about men, health and environMENts

Men's Health Australia — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 10:24:40 +0000

Men's Health Week is about men, health and environMENts.

Being healthy is more than just eating enough fruit & veg or exercising each day. Health happens when your life environments work to support good health.

Men's Health Week is not far away! This annual worldwide celebration of the contributions of men and boys to our society has been running for over a decade. This year, Men's Health Week is about environMENts for health.

It's about looking at how life environments - natural, physical, social, family, working or spiritual - contribute to health.

It's why we have parks, gardens and family days at the beach.

It's why we develop safe and fulfilling workplaces, why we encourage men and women to become better parents and why blokes have sheds.

And it's about connecting with the natural environment to achieve better health environments in your life.

This Men's Health Week, we're putting the call out to improve men's and boy's health by reconnecting with natural environMENts. This will be good for the health of men as well as women, kids, families, communities and society.

Help us improve the state of male health in Australia

Understand!

To be healthy, you need to live, work and play in environments that support your health and wellbeing.

Find out why »

Share!

Please, spread the word about Men's Health Week to family, friends, relatives and colleagues.

Find out how »

Plan!

Check out some great event ideas in our 'Inspiring Ideas' event kit and register them online.

Find out how »

ABS Releases Gender Indicators and Ignores Male Disadvantage

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 07 Feb 2012 12:06:29 +0000

Today the Australian Bureau of Statistics (ABS), Australia's so-called impartial statistical body released its Gender Indicators report: "a summary of gender specific data in six domains representing Economic security, Education, Health, Work and family balance, Safety and justice, and Democracy, governance and citizenship".

The ABS produced a media release about the publication. This release could have noted that:

Across the board males fare much worse than females in the education system - most notably being 24% less likely to be enrolled in a bachelor degree or above
Across the board males fare much worse than females in the health arena - most notably suffering death rates from cancer, heart disease, suicide, motor vehicle accidents and drug abuse between 1.6 and 3.4 times higher
Males are 12% more likely than females to feel their work and family responsibilities are rarely/ never in balance
Males are almost twice as likely as females to have experienced violence during the last 12 months and one third more likely to be a victim of physical or threatened physical assault.

However, these facts were conveniently ignored in favour of a media release titled "Busy mums want more paid work," citing the rate of underemployment being twice as high for women (8%) than for men (4%). Sadly it seems that the lace curtain extends all the way into our country's top statistical body.

Source: 4125.0 - Gender Indicators, Australia, Jan 2012 (http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by%20Subject/4125.0~Jan%202012~Main%20Features~Contents~1)
Source: Busy mums want more paid work (http://www.abs.gov.au/ausstats/abs@.nsf/Lookup/by%20Subject/4125.0~Jan%202012~Media%20Release~Busy%20mums%20want%20more%20paid%20work%20(Media%20Release)~6152)

First National Sexual and Reproductive Health Conference, 20-21 Nov 2012: Call for Abstracts

Men's Health Australia — Sat, 28 Jan 2012 12:14:50 +0000

The Public Health Association of Australia in partnership with Sexual Health and Family Planning Australia invite you to participate in the first Australian conference to bring together practitioners, policy makers, scholars, educators and others enthusiastic about improving the sexual and reproductive health of all Australians.

The conference will be an excellent opportunity to hear the most recent national and international research evidence and practitioner wisdom and to make your own contribution to implementation ideas foreshadowed in the new National Women’s and Men’s Health policies.

Conference organisers will circulate a draft Melbourne Declaration with recommendations for State, Territory and Federal governments on priorities for policy and program implementation in sexual and reproductive health. Those submitting abstracts are therefore recommended to situate their work in a human rights framework and address the socio-economic determinants of sexual and reproductive health where possible.

We encourage those submitting abstracts to consider adding a recommendation for consideration in the Declaration.

The Conference is relevant to:

sexual and reproductive health, community health, women’s and men’s health practitioners and scholars
other public health practitioners
nurses, allied health professionals and welfare workers
educators and teachers
women’s and men’s health consumer advocates.

Keynote Speakers will include:

Prof. Dr. Ine Vanwesenbeeck, presently Manager of International Research at Rutgers WPF, Dutch centre of expertise on Sexual and Reproductive Health and Rights (SRHR), and affiliated Professor of Sexual Development, Diversity and Health at Utrecht University
Simon Blake OBE, Chief Executive for Brook, the UK’s largest young people’s sexual health charity.

Conference Themes

Abstracts are to be submitted under the following session themes:

Preventing and reducing unwanted and unintended pregnancies
Men’s role in their own and their partners’ sexual and reproductive health
Sexual and reproductive health education and promotion and respectful relationships
Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples’ sexual and reproductive health
Social determinants of good sexual and reproductive health
Sexual and reproductive health workforce issues
Sexuality and ageing.

Download the Call for Abstracts document from phaa.net.au/documents/NSRH2012_CallForAbstracts.pdf.

Source: First National Sexual and Reproductive Health Conference, 20-21 Nov 2012: Call for Abstracts (http://www.phaa.net.au/documents/NSRH2012_CallForAbstracts.pdf)

Gareth Malone's Extraordinary School for Boys (UK)

Men's Health Australia — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 08:53:43 +0000

About The Program

Choirmaster Gareth Malone teaches in a primary school in Essex for one term. It is a school like many across Britain, with a significant gap between girls' and boys' achievement in literacy. Last week we saw Gareth and the boys tree-climbing and sharpening their speaking skills with a debate. This time Gareth faces a new mission: to get the boys reading.

Head Chris Thurgood has set Gareth a tough target of improving the boys' reading age and she is unconvinced that his methods are working. When Gareth discovers that one boy has never even set foot in a bookshop, and another spends seven hours a day playing computer games, the magnitude of his task becomes clear. So he decides to stage a reading competition to run alongside the World Cup, and even gets the dads in to help get their boys reading with the lure of a camp-out in the school woodland.

Will Gareth's efforts be enough to convince the boys to put down their games consoles and pick up a book, and to show the head teacher that there is method to his madness?

ABC1 9:30pm Tuesday, January 17th 2012
ABC1 9:25pm Tuesday, January 24th 2012
ABC1 9:55pm Tuesday, January 31st 2012
ABC1 9:30pm Tuesday, February 7th 2012

Or on YouTube at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pI9d9jW1ouc

Source: Gareth Malone's Extraordinary School for Boys (http://www.abc.net.au/tv/guide/abc1/201201/programs/ZX5984A002D2012-01-24T212618.htm)

The 'wage gap' myth rears its ugly head once again

Men's Health Australia — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 07:02:15 +0000

The Equal Opportunity for Women in the Workplace Agency (EOWA) has issued a media release claiming that Australian workplaces discriminate against women because of an average gender wage difference between male and female graduates of $2,000. The source data cited actually found this difference was not due to discrimination but due to the fields of study chosen by males and females, along with other factors such as hours worked and type and location of employer.

Here is a copy of the media release along with our letter to the director of the EOWA in response.

Source: The 'wage gap' myth rears its ugly head once again (http://menshealthaustralia.net/storage/files/EOWA_Wage_Gap_Jan_12.pdf)

Dads Talk (Rosebery, Sydney)

Men's Health Australia — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 08:52:52 +0000

An opportunity for fathers to get together and not only talk about their experiences but to also gain some real, practical ideas around being a parent.

When: Every Wednesday 6.30pm - 8pm
Where: Level 3, 55 Mentmore Avenue, Rosebery NSW 2018
Contact: Jason or Tim on 02 8314 9494 or 0419 461 422

For many men, becoming a father changes their lives beyond belief. Your priorities change, your relationship changes and your new family demands skills, qualities and emotional capacity from you that you didn't know you had.

Today, a father's role is quite different from past generations. We believe that not only does this changing, more hands-on role need to be recognised, it also needs to be supported. Some common themes include:

Relationship issues
Work/Life balance
Sleep deprivation
Managing relatives
Difficult emotions.

Every stage of parenthood comes with its own unique challenges. As such, this group is open to all fathers. Each member comes with their own skills and needs of the group and each has something to offer the other men. As the complexity of your role as a father unfolds and you find yourself feeling alone and without support, this on-going group is an opportunity to talk about and process the experiences you are having and find that you are not alone.

Source: Dads Talk (Rosebery, Sydney) (http://mhaweb.squarespace.com/storage/files/Dads_Talk.pdf)

Mindful Men: 4 week meditation and mindfulness course for men

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:41:44 +0000

What: 4 week meditation and mindfulness course for men.
When: Monday Evenings in February (6th, 13th, 20th and 27th) at 7pm.
Where: Tasmen - The McDougal Building, 90 Davey Street, Hobart
Cost: $60 ($40 Concession).

This experiential course will explore mindfulness in the lives of men through the instruction of meditation and movement as well as through discussion and the sharing of our experiences. Men have profound capacities for tenderness, intimacy and care as well as strength, creativity and inspiration. Not often finding the support needed for such inner qualities to arise the intention of this course is to create a safe space for men to deepen their self-understanding while developing mindful awareness in both meditation and relationship to others.

This course will be facilitated by Luke Yates – www.lukeyates.net.au. Luke would like to heartfully thank the Tasmanian Men's Health and Wellbeing Association (www.tasmen.org.au) for their support in providing a venue for this course and assisting in promotion.

To join this course or for more information please contact Luke: 0439 485 153 or

Source: Mindful Men: 4 week meditation and mindfulness course for men (http://www.lukeyates.net.au/)

The inaugural MR (mister) Walk on the Gold Coast, QLD

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 17 Jan 2012 11:28:55 +0000

An event that aims to reverse some of the negative stereotypes associated with men, has garnered the support of the Gold Coast Titans, police and business leaders.

The initiative was sparked by Gold Coast Councillor Bob La Castra, following a question that was asked of four men, who were randomly selected from the audience of a seminar titled 'From Boys to Men'.

The question asked by the moderator was - 'can you tell me one thing that's good about being a man'?

"Not one of us could think of an answer. It's one of the few times I've been rendered speechless," says Cr La Castra.

According to the seminar's presenter, a respected authority on issues relating to men and boys in society, the lack of a response was 'usual'.

The presenter revealed that he had conducted surveys of primary school-aged girls on their perceptions of men. The responses included such statements as: 'men hurt people'; 'men are dangerous'; 'men kill people'; 'men rob banks'; 'men try to steal little children'.

"The children's responses are disturbing to say the least. When you factor in the everyday image portrayal of men, via the movie industry and the media, it shows that men have a serious, social image problem," says Cr La Castra.

"How often do we hear a news report saying, 'today, a woman was charged with armed robbery, murder, rape, or domestic violence'? These negative perceptions need to be addressed, not only for the good of society - but for the good of men."

As a result, Cr La Castra decided to organise an event - the Men Respect Walk, MR (mister) Walk - and approached managing director of the Gold Coast Titans Michael Searle, who took the concept to the NRL.

"The MR Walk is a great concept and we're proud to have the Titans supporting the cause, along with the NRL and Indigenous All Stars," says Mr Searle.

"Our players are already role models for so many young boys in the community through their achievements on the field, so this is an important way of showing young men what it means to be positive role models off the field, in a different light."

Police Assistant Commissioner Paul Wilson is also a supporter of the walk and says the community can 'never have enough positive male role models'.

"The promotion of how important positive men are to the development of youth can't be underestimated," he says.

"If there are more men taking time to care and create a positive influence on the transition of boys through to men, then it can only help bring positive results and better social outcomes. The MR Walk will certainly bring profile to this area and hopefully other positives will grow from this focus."

Cr La Castra is hoping well-known male identities will walk to take a positive stance.

With the breakdown of the family unit and males making up only about 20 per cent of primary school teachers, the shortage of positive male role models is a legitimate concern: "We (men) want to make a positive, meaningful contribution to the upbringing of our children - and to society in general," says Cr La Castra.

The MR Walk will be primarily for men, although women will be welcome to walk, too.

Cr La Castra believes the MR Walk will give men the opportunity to project a different and positive image of masculinity: "Men, en masse, will be able to demonstrate their respect of women and children and above all - respect for themselves."

The MR Walk (2.2km) will commence and conclude at Skilled Park Stadium, Robina (adjacent to the Robina Railway Station), on Sunday, 5 February at 8.30am. Car parking will be available on-site. For further details visit: titans.com.au

Source: The inaugural MR (mister) Walk on the Gold Coast, QLD (http://groupworksolutions.com.au/_literature_96785/The_inaugural_MR_%28Men_Respect%29_Walk)

MensWork Project 2012 launch (Perth WA)

Men's Health Australia — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 06:24:34 +0000

Dear friends and colleagues,

Unfortunately The MensWork Project team are postponing the launch event on the 16^th of January. For those who have accepted our invitation, thanks for the support and we will keep you posted on any future resurrection of the event.

We believe this event is an important way to showcase our initiatives, and particularly to hear, via the forum section of the evening, feedback and other’s views on programs for men in WA.

Below is our program of events for 2012 to give you an overview of what we plan for this year. If you would like full information on any of these events please get back to me or give me call.

In the meantime, for those with an interest in the Men in Bali retreats and would like to rub shoulders with us and previous participants in the retreats, there is a Breakfast at Peter Efford’s house, 2 Healey Place, Gooseberry Hill on Sunday the 22^nd of January at 08.00 am. RSVP is essential, so contact Peter on epj@iinet.net.au or 9293 2363 to secure a place.

The MensWork Project Inc: Schedule of Programs 2012

The MensWork Project offers programs by experienced, professional facilitators who specialise in working with men. As well as their specific topics, all of the programs offer men a respectful opportunity to explore and appreciate the power of the masculine journey and what it is to be a man.

The notion of building your ‘toolbox’ for the life journey produces strong personal and relationship techniques and skills in a supportive group setting. Each man can then adapt these skills to achieve his personal vision for the future and to remove barriers to achieving this.

In the coming year we have an exciting range of quality programs and events designed for men at different stages in their life journey.

More complete information for any event is available from the contact person.

MEN ON THE MOVE: A Toolbox Approach to Men's Development. A weekend retreat/workshop focused on creating new skills for your future. Limited to 14 men at the Serpentine Retreat Centre with Geoff Paull and Wes Carter. The fee of $395 includes all meals and accommodation. Contact: Geoff Paul 9272 1666 geoff@pathwaystoachievement.com or Wes Carter 93378434menswork@iinet.net.au

Friday evening 25^th to Sunday afternoon 27^th May

FATHERS ON THE MOVE: A Toolbox Approach to Fathering in the 21st Century. A weekend retreat/workshop exploring the many facets of fatherhood and being fathered. Limited to 14 men at the Serpentine Retreat Centre with Geoff Paull and Wes Carter. The fee of $395 includes all meals and accommodation. Contact: Geoff Paul 9272 1666geoff@pathwaystoachievement.com or Wes Carter 93378434 menswork@iinet.net.au

Friday evening 24^th to Sunday afternoon 26^th August – a week before Father’s Day

THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE. A weekend workshop for taking account of the Warrior years and preparing for Eldership. A highly innovative, entertaining and rewarding weekend for men in their 50's with Elders Wes Carter, Peter Fry and Peter Efford. Limited to 20 men at the Serpentine Retreat Centre. The fee of $395 includes all meals and accommodation. Contact: Peter Fry 92724252 unkapete65@yahoo.com.au

Friday evening 14^th to Sunday afternoon 16^th September

THE NATIONAL ELDERS GATHERING. An opportunity for elder men from all over Australasia to explore eldership - to listen and learn, to give and to share what’s been working, or not working, for us. to consider ideas of eldership and eldering from both making a contribution at this stage of your life and also enhancing your personal journey from this point. Contact Wes Carter 93378434 menswork@iinet.net.au

Wednesday 17^th October to Sunday 21^st October

MEN in BALI: A Man’s Journey. Getting the most from life's great adventure, knowing the masculine spirit! Limited to 8 men of any age with Wes Carter and Geoff Paull. Held over 8 days at Pondok Saraswati, Ubud Bali. $1700 all inclusive with exception of airfare and incidentals. Contact: Wes Carter 93378434 menswork@iinet.net.au

Thursday 22^nd March to Thursday 30^th March and Saturday 24^th November to Saturday 1^st December

MEN in BALI: The Elders Way. Deep enquiry, adventure and celebration of the mastery of Eldership. Limited to 8 men 50 years and over with Wes Carter and Peter Efford.. Held over 8 days at Pondok Saraswati, Ubud Bali. $1700 all inclusive with exception of airfare and incidentals. Contact: Peter Efford 9293 2363 epj@iinet.net.au

Saturday 31^st March to Sunday 8^th April and Wednesday 5^th December to Wednesday 12^th December

REGISTRATION AND BOOKING A PROGRAM.

We men are notoriously unreliable about planning and committing to events in the future - even more so if it’s about ourselves! Therefore we urge you to commit early to these programs that are deliberately restricted in numbers to ensure you have a rewarding experience.

To get more complete information on any event and begin the process of registering, please talk to the listed contact person, or get in touch with The MensWork Project by emailing or telephoning Wes Carter -menswork@iinet.net.au Tel. 08 93378434

Mike Lew: 2012 Events in Australia

Men's Health Australia — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 22:33:00 +0000

The Next Step Counseling and Training is located in Brookline, Massachusetts. Co-directors Mike Lew, M.Ed. and Thom Harrigan, LICSW and their associates offer individual therapy, couples counseling, group therapy and clinical supervision as well as experiential workshops, professional trainings and public lectures. A primary focus of the work at The Next Step is adult male recovery from the effects of sexual child abuse and other trauma.

Events are still in the planning stages for Mike's return to Australia in 2012. At this time, most events have been scheduled, and a few are in the planning stages. Here are those events that are currently arranged. If details change, or other locations are added, they will be posted here. The overall organiser is Donovan Pill Anyone interested in sponsoring an event can contact him for information and scheduling.

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March 16, 2012

Brisbane, Queensland

Professional Development Workshop - for details, contact Ari Heber

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March 17, 2012

Brisbane, Queensland

Male Survivor Recovery Workshop - for details, contact Ari Heber

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March 20, 2012

Melbourne, Victoria

Melbourne CASA Forum - Professional Development Workshop. Day long training sponsored by South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault (SECASA). Details to be determined.

For further information and registration contact Donovan Pill – SECASA P.O. Box 72 East Bentleigh 3165 Telephone enquires 9928 8741 Email Donovan Pill

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March 23-25, 2012

Maldon, Victoria

Victims No Longer Weekend # 6

Friday 23 March, 6pm – Sunday 25 March, 2pm

South Eastern Centre Against Sexual Assault (SECASA) invites male survivors of sexual abuse/assault to participate in a residential retreat weekend facilitated by Mike Lew, the world renowned author of ‘Victims No Longer, The Classic Guide for Men Recovering from Sexual Child Abuse’, & ‘Leaping Upon the Mountains’.

If you are interested in taking part in an incredible healing journey, please join us. No longer forced to suffer alone, survivors and professionals continue to develop resources and support systems that move the recovery process forward.

This weekend workshop is for non-offending adult males survivors of sexual abuse and rape. It provides a variety of healing activities: sharing of stories, writing exercises, anger work, group discussions, shared creativity, relaxation and even fun in a safe, nurturing environment.

The event is for men who are actively engaged in recovery work, and is not a substitute for therapy/counselling. A letter of recommendation from your counsellor/therapist or support organization should accompany your registration. Considerable attention has been put into creating a safe, nurturing environment respectful of people’s needs

The weekend focuses on the reality of recovery as revealed by male survivors.

The workshop will be held in central Victoria at:
Derby Hill Blue Light Youth Camp, Phoenix Street, Maldon, Victoria 3463

The fee of AU$300 (inc. GST) covers accommodation and all meals. A deposit of AU$50 is required with your booking, with the balance payable by 9th March 20112 (with no refunds after 19th March 2012). Progressive advance payments welcome, following an Invoice request. No one will be turned away through inability to pay in full. A contribution to enable others to attend would be very welcome.

Please obtain an application form for completion, and return together with your deposit or full payment to: Donovan Pill – SECASA P.O. Box 72 East Bentleigh 3165 Telephone enquires 9928 8741 Email Donovan Pill

******************************************************

March 29, 2012

Halls Creek, Western Australia

Day long Professional Development Workshop - for details and registration, contact Brenda King

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March 30, 2012

Halls Creek, Western Australia

"Men's Healing Yarn" - Day long recovery workshop for male survivors- for details and registration, contact Brenda King

***********************************************************************

April 2 & 3, 2012

Broome, Western Australia

Two Day Professional Development Workshop - for details and registration, contact Venitah Cooke or Kaz Fitzpatrick

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April 5, 2012

Perth, Western Australia

Day long Professional Development Workshop - for details and registration, contact Karen Steinberg or Shaan Russell-Smith

Source: Mike Lew: 2012 Events in Australia (http://www.nextstepcounselling.org/upcomingevents2.htm)

Shared custody a mistake for the under-2s, says Lobbyist Researcher

Men's Health Australia — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 00:48:00 +0000

Separated parents should not share custody of babies or toddlers under two, according to controversial guidelines released this week by a national infant welfare group, which seem to contradict decades of research and conclude the exact opposite.

”Prior to the age of two years, overnight time away from the primary care-giver should be avoided, unless necessary” according to the Australian Association for Infant Mental Health’s ”guidelines for protecting the very young child’s sense of comfort and security”.

The guidelines recommend that non-custodial parents, nine out of 10 of whom are fathers, should instead see children under two during the day, up to three times a week, gradually phasing in overnight visits after the second birthday. Families fighting custody battles in the Family Court should not share custody until the child is three, according to the guidelines.

”The infant’s voice can be very soft in the often highly conflictual family court arena and we hope that these guidelines will give it some strength and volume,” the association’s Victorian chapter president, Nichola Coombs, said.

The warnings follow several other studies critical of the 2006 Family Court reforms introduced by the Howard government, which singled out shared care as the option judges must consider. Three government-commissioned reports released last year highlighted widespread confusion over shared care, as well as the dangers faced by children in violent families.

The infant custody guidelines are based on a 2010 study of shared custody by clinical psychologist Dr Jennifer McIntosh, which found that ”babies under two years who lived one or more overnights a week with both parents were significantly stressed”.

Using reports from the separated parents of 258 children under two as part of the Australian Institute of Family Studies’ divorce research, Dr McIntosh concluded that: ”in their general day-to-day behaviour, these babies were more irritable and worked much harder to monitor the presence and to stay close to their primary parent than babies who had less or no overnight time away from their primary caregiver”.

"Decision makers need to think about what a very young child can cope with compared to an older child,” Dr McIntosh said. ”There aren’t black-and-white answers, but there are very good reasons to be cautious about frequent, regular overnight schedules for little people.”

While the guidelines have no legal weight, Wayne Butler, executive secretary of the Shared Parenting Council of Australia, fears they will influence judge’s rulings.

”When parents are together, they care for the babies on a shared basis,” Mr Butler said. ”There’s no reason why there couldn’t be reasonable overnight contacts [after separation] when the parents are co-operative.”

It’s rare for Family Court judges to award shared custody of babies, the Law Institute of Victoria president, Caroline Counsel, said. But she warned against hard-and-fast rules about custody: ”There are some children that manage well and some who really struggle.”

Caring for a toddler alone can be ”a tremendous burden,” Bunny Banyai, co-author of frank new parenting book Sh*t On My Hands, said. Her daughter Clementine was 18 months old when Ms Banyai separated and it was decided she was too little for overnight stays with dad. But now Ms Banyai regrets it.

”I was almost psychotic with tiredness and so my relationship with my daughter suffered,” she said. ”She was pining for her dad.”

MICHELLE GRIFFIN

Read response from Fathers4Equality

Source: Shared custody a mistake for the under-2s, says Lobbyist Researcher (http://www.f4e.com.au/blog/2011/12/26/shared-custody-a-mistake-for-the-under-2s-says-lobbyist-researcher/)

DadLabs

Men's Health Australia — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 08:15:10 +0000

America is seeing a fundamental shift in the role of men in parenting. While many in the media and academia have observed this trend, no company has emerged to meet the needs of these "New" fathers, the modern dads. Enter DadLabs, Inc., a start-up company dedicated to providing creative media content and information products to serve this new generation of "Super Dads."

Headquartered in Austin, Texas, DadLabs is an information and entertainment company that fosters the father/child relationship through media, instructional and retail products.

The mission of the company is to strengthen families and benefit children by empowering today's fathers.

The company provides resources to expecting, new and veteran fathers that will launch them into a more active and creative role in the lives of their children. DadLabs speaks to the corporate executive and the delivery driver with a voice that is authentic and genuinely male, with wisdom and self-deprecating humor of experience. The products and services offered are honest, informative, sometimes off-color, but always dedicated to the spirit of fatherhood. DadLabs speaks guy and presents information through guy-colored lenses.

Founded in 2004 by Troy Lanier, Clay Nichols and Brad Powell, DadLabs aims to be the voice of the new fatherhood. The company was founded on the core value that parents must be the primary movers in the lives of their children and fathers must play a leading role in this journey. The team at DadLabs is committed to assisting the busy father by providing him with accessible and digestible information and parenting ideas. DadLabs will not only inform and entertain fathers, but will also foster creative father/child activities through retail products.

The trio brings more than 30 years of teaching and hands on fatherhood experience, as well as professional filmmaking and writing experience. Troy Lanier and Clay Nichols are accomplished authors and were named to the Austin Chronicle Best of 2005 for their book "Filmmaking for Teens: Pulling off Your Shorts." The company's first DVD, DueDads: The Man's Survival Guide to Pregnancy won a 27th annual Bronze Telly Award. The company released “DadLabs: A Guide to Fatherhood: Pregnancy and Year One”, the first of a series of books published by Quirk Books released on Father's Day 2009. DadLabs is also in the process of developing a TV show based on the company.

Source: DadLabs (http://www.dadlabs.com/about-dadlabs.html)

Have women swung the pendulum too far? (UK)

Men's Health Australia — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 00:47:00 +0000

When discussing gender issues from a male perspective you will often hear people talk about a pendulum that has swung too far.

It’s a nonsense metaphor that serves neither women nor men. The idea that there’s an imaginary pendulum that has been swung in women’s favour promotes a lazy binary thinking that can only view gender work as a Zero Sum Game where there’s always a winner and always a loser.

The Men’s Network is not and never has been about pushing an imaginary pendulum back towards men. We’re not interested in playing Zero Sum Games where there’s a winner or a loser.

The Men’s Network stands for a world where every man, woman, girl and boy can fulfil their greatest potential – and our focus is on helping men and boys to overcome the barriers and disadvantages that they face.

This means doing better for boys in schools; helping men live longer, happier, healthier lives; supporting more dads to be more involved in their children’s lives; making sure boys and girls have male role models in their lives and making the world a safer place for all by keeping men and boys safe.

And it means doing this in a way that the whole team wins.

Doing better for men and boys doesn’t mean women have to lose out.

When working with one gender the enemy is not the other gender. There doesn’t have to be a winner or a loser when working with women or men because if we do it well then everyone wins.

But if there is no pendulum and the other gender isn’t the enemy then why does it seem like such a fight some times?

Well it’s because the enemies we are fighting are huge. The enemy is poverty, the enemy is poor health, the enemy is a bad education, the enemy is crime and disorder and the enemy is violence and abuse.

And if you try telling someone who’s committed to making the world a better place for women and girls – who quite rightly cares about women’s pay, or girls’ access to education worldwide, or women’s cancers, or domestic violence and sexual abuse - you try telling that person that there’s a pendulum and it’s swung too far now – they would nor surprisingly think you were a little bit mad.

And that’s why the pendulum metaphor doesn’t work because if you’re taking on addressing big problems like poverty and violence then your pendulum can never swing far enough.

And that’s why we need new way of looking at gender issues that empower us to look at issues like women’s pay or boys’ education or men’s life expectancy or men’s risk of offending or violence against women and girls in a way that acknowledges that:

Women are not the only ones to experience poor pay and poverty – and most men and women are not in poverty
Boys are not the only ones to get a bad education – and most boys and girls get good results
Men are not the only ones to die young – and most men and women live long, happy, healthy lives
Women are not the only victims of violence – and most men and women are neither perpetrators nor victims of crime and violence

I don’t know what a world where every man, women, girl and boy can fulfil their greatest potential looks like because we haven’t created yet.

And I do know it’s possible.

And I also know that swinging back and forth on a metaphorical pendulum playing Zero Sum Games where there’re winners and losers is NOT the way to make that possibility a reality.

If we must have a metaphor for working with men and women that works for everyone then I’d much rather we sit in a rowing boat than swing on a pendulum.

A rowing boat works really well when all the oars are in perfect balance. If you just pull on the oars on your side, everyone in the boat goes round and round in circles.

So if you’re serious about making a difference for men or women or both then I have a request – will you please step away from the pendulum, hop in the boat and grab an oar!

And don’t all rush to one side now……………

A Merry Christmas to you all

Best Regards

Glen Poole, Strategic Director, The Men’s Network

Source: Have women swung the pendulum too far? (http://brightonmanplan.wordpress.com/2011/12/12/have-women-swung-the-pendulum-too-far/)

Daughters financially better off than mothers, but sons... (USA)

Men's Health Australia — Sun, 11 Dec 2011 19:17:00 +0000

Are young people better off than their parents? At least when it comes to income, the answer depends on gender.

Today's young women make $1.17 for every $1 their moms earned back in 1980. Young men, however, are earning 10 cents per hour less than their fathers did 30 years ago, new research shows.

The study, compiled by the non-profit Young Invincibles and the think tank, Demos, looked at wage data for 25- to 34-year-olds in 2010 and compared it to the wages of that same age group in 1980.

What they found is not that startling, given social and economic trends over the last three decades: Young women are faring slightly better than their mothers did at the beginning of their careers, mainly because of advances for women in the workplace.

Meanwhile, young men have fewer opportunities overall, due to the decline of manufacturing, construction and other male-dominated industries.

And young Americans seem to be acutely aware of these trends; young women on average, have a stronger belief than their male peers that they're faring better than their parents, according to Xavier University's American Dream index.

“Based on their own responses, women are doing better relative to the previous generation,“ said Gregory Smith, one of the three Xavier University professors who recently created the index. “They feel they have better jobs, better homes and higher social status.“
While that may be true, neither gender is off to a very strong start.

“In a single generation, it has become harder to either work or educate your way into the middle class,“ said Tamara Draut, co-author of “The State of Young America“ report.

Draut cites high unemployment, a slump in the housing market and rapidly rising costs for everything from college tuition to rents to medical coverage and child care, as tough hurdles young people have to overcome to get their independent adult lives started.

Amid those challenges, it makes sense then that today's 20-somethings are facing a tough choice: Either put off major milestones, like moving out of mom and dad's place, buying a home and starting a family -- or likely accumulate a staggering amount of debt in the process.

College seniors who took out loans to fund their college education owed an average of $25,250 last year, according to the Project on Student Debt. And in 2007 (the most recent data available) adults ages 25 to 34 held average credit card debt of $6,255 -- 81 percent higher than that of the same group in 1989.

Even though mortgage rates are at record lows and home prices are the cheapest in eight years, fewer young people are taking advantage of those incentives. Their home ownership rates, after increasing steadily from the 1990s until the early 2000s, have recently decreased.
They're also waiting longer to get married and have children.

All this volatility is causing young people to question what is perhaps the most basic tenet of the American Dream. About 48 percent of young adults ages 18 to 34 believe their generation will be worse off than their parents, according to the State of Young America poll. Only 22 percent think they'll fare better, and the rest see no change at all.

And what of the divide between today's youth and their grandparents? While it's common for older generations to have more money because they have more time to accumulate it, a separate study by Pew Research showed that the wealth gap between America's young and old is now at its widest point ever.

Source: Daughters financially better off than mothers, but sons ... (http://mobile.chicagotribune.com/p.p?a=rp&postId=1322467&m=b&sessionToken=&postUserId=31)

Going part-time: Dads' balancing act

Men's Health Australia — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 13:00:00 +0000

Matthew Thompson dedicates a day a week to spending time with his two-year old daughter, Lydiana. Picture: Gary Graham

Men increasingly are casting off their traditional roles as hunter providers to work part time and take a greater role in caring for their children.

Dads who don't want to miss out on the formative years of their children's lives are turning down full-time work to provide for their families in other ways.

Employment and social leaders are encouraging the trend, believing it will help create gender equality in the workplace as well as at home.

Australian Bureau of Statistics figures show that 1.02 million men are working in part-time jobs this year compared with only 902,000 in 2006.

Matthew Thompson is among the new wave of part-timers. He runs his own business but dedicates a day a week to spending time with his two-year-old daughter, Lydiana.

"The plan in going to work for myself was always to do the hard yards for the first few years, with the vision (of) having a family down the track and then cut back on hours so I could spend as much time with her as possible," he says.

"I get to spend time with her in her formative years and I can see the development.

"Being able to be there from the start and spend the time with her is fantastic."

Thompson believes many dads would love the opportunity to spend more time with their kids.

A study by the Australian Institute of Family Studies into how Australian families spend their time found that each week, fathers with children aged under five spent 43 hours in paid employment, six hours of housework and another 16 hours parenting and playing with children.

Thompson says: "I think a lot of dads see it as important and that many of them would love to spend more time with their kids."

The percentage of part-time male workers in Australia is significantly less than part-time female workers, who make up 21 per cent of the total workforce.

Male staff in sales, and community and personal service workers, are the most likely to work part time, with 38 per cent of males in these sectors employed part time.

One in three labourers are part-time, compared with just 6 per cent of male managers and 9 per cent of tradesmen.

Mark Reece, risk management and compliance manager at Robert Walters, explains while dads working part time are in the minority, it is an option available to some.

He says: "More men are open to part-time/consultancy type roles. The market is a major factor in that there aren't the full-time opportunities available now as opposed to this time last year (or the) year before.

"In most cases, though, it depends on the circumstances of the candidate.

"Employers are sceptical when recently made redundant candidates open themselves to part-time roles, as a mere stop-gap solution to staying in the market.

"They are, however, more open to looking at candidates at the latter stages of their career, or women looking to return from maternity leave."

Reece says employers increasingly are becoming more open to the possibility of offering dads part-time work.

"They are certainly open to the idea. Employers are open to looking at new ways to attract top talent," he says.

"It relieves costs associated with the business obviously critical at the moment as candidates work on a pro rata basis but are still expected to perform their full duties."

The 100% Project, a not-for-profit organisation striving for 100 per cent of the nation's male and female leaders to contribute to the workforce, says its research finds family is more important to most men than career. It says 68 per cent of men are keen to cut back on areas in their life so they can be more involved in the day-to-day care of their children.

Its Men At Work: What They Want And Why It Matters For Women report says men do not ask for greater work/life balance through measures such as part-time work even if they have children because they fear that asking will harm their career. Only 39 per cent of men have asked for better work/life balance, with a top reason for not doing so being employers looking negatively on employees who take advantage of such initiatives.

Source: Going part-time: Dads' balancing act (http://www.news.com.au/business/worklife/going-part-time-dads-balancing-act/story-e6frfm9r-1226215303531)

Men's Health Australia Media Watch Report 2011

Men's Health Australia — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 04:39:00 +0000

In November 2007, Greg Andresen was contracted by Men’s Health SA (MHSA – at that time the South Australian Men’s Health Alliance – SAMHA) to conduct a one-day-a-week Media Watch role on behalf of SAMHA and its collaborative partners, the Men’s Health Information & Resource Centre at the University of Western Sydney (MHIRC) and the Australasian Men’s Health Forum (AMHF). In July 2010, a fourth collaborative partner came on board to support the project – The Men’s Advisory Network (MAN) from Western Australia.

The Media Watch role involved the critique, analysis and, when appropriate, challenging of mass media statements and commentary and other forms of institutional, academic and government literature and media that:

depicted men or boys or masculinity in an unfair, negative or disparaging way
were misleading, inaccurate, or prejudicial towards men and boys
detracted from a general positive affirmation of men, boys, and masculinity
undermined the endeavour to approach men and boy’s health and issues in an intelligent, respectful, positive, equitable and constructive way.

The role soon expanded to include four main categories of work.

Media watch – keeping an eye on print press, advertising, websites, publications, TV, movies and radio, on the lookout for inaccurate and misleading representations of men, boys and gender issues. It also involved writing accurate male-positive articles and media releases, and taking part in interviews and media discussions from an accurate male-positive standpoint.
Lobbying and networking – involved talking and writing to politicians, government bureaucrats, NGOs and other organisations and individuals to convey a factual, male-friendly point-of-view on issues of concern to males.
Taking part in government inquiries and consultations.
Circulating men’s health information of interest, via the Men’s Health Australia website (menshealthaustralia.net), email lists, occasional e-newsletters and more recently via Twitter and Facebook.

Greg has just put together a report on his Media Watch role over the past 18 months which you might find interesting or useful. It can be downloaded from

www.menshealthaustralia.net/storage/files/Media_Watch_Report_2011.pdf.

This is the second of two reports. The first report was published in May 2009, and is available online at

www.menshealthaustralia.net/storage/files/MHSA_Media_Watch_Report_July_2009.pdf.

Source: Men's Health Australia Media Watch Report (http://www.menshealthaustralia.net/storage/files/Media_Watch_Report_2011.pdf)

Sex discrimination at London School of Economics (UK)

Men's Health Australia — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 00:59:00 +0000

Tom Martin is making headlines around the world for bringing a £50,000 sex discrimination lawsuit against the prestigious London School of Economics (LSE), claiming its gender studies Masters programme he enrolled on consistently promotes biassed, female victim-hood stories, blaming men, in order to justify ignoring male equality debates like those brought by the fathers' rights movement.

Tom discusses his case on A Voice for Men radio, and appears in an explosive new youtube video, asking LSE students if discrimination against men in a gender studies course is ever justifiable, as the university's defence team now argue. Some LSE students are immediately hostile on camera, one declaring “There's no discrimination against men!” - her outburst juxtaposed by a fast-scrolling 160 item A to Z list of discrimination issues faced by males. Other students agree with Tom's complaint, one quietly admitting “I've been here for three years and never heard or read of a study about equal rights or equal opportunities for men, so definitely, there's a case there.”

Another LSE student, studying gender, tells Tom that a focus on women in gender studies is “just kind of what happens”. The head of LSE's Gender Institute candidly admits though, in 2011 (p.10), when 'women's studies' became 'gender studies' it signalled a rejection of the old victim-feminist bias in favour of neutrality, objectivity, and inclusion for men – but that in truth, nothing has changed. In 2008 (p.275), the same department head was even more candid, “ 'Gender studies' as a designation [rather than 'Women's studies'] is more likely to attract funding.”

Misleading advertising and misrepresentation aside, the contract students enter with universities explicitly rules out sex-discriminatory learning materials and bias, but Tom shows, the compulsory texts are full of male-blaming propaganda. At first the university dismissively denied it, but now Tom has measured the overwhelming bias, the defence are making excuses for the one-sidedness. According to discrimination case law, evasive or disingenuous denials of discrimination by a defendant in lieu of a proper investigation, are grounds for further prosecution (p.641).

One compulsory text in the curriculum actually recommends bias, calling it “Critical Studies on Men (CSM)". According to various reports, such criticality is not limited to women's and gender studies, but taints a much wider variety of s ubjects, at every level, from kindergarden up. Naturally, boys and men feel threatened by these negative stereotypes – which research shows, badly effect males' concentration, performance , and health. With 59% of university degrees going to women and 41% to men, the gap getting wider, Tom's lawsuit can be the wake up call for educationalists to make the curriculum more relevant and welcoming to males and male equality issues, as with females and female equality issues.

The 900 plus women's studies and gender studies departments worldwide who often justify their existence, legitimacy, and funding by claiming gender studies and feminism are about helping men achieve equality too, may soon be forced to get a bit more serious about incorporating fathers' rights debates for instance, or face the legal consequences.

You can help boys and men get the encouragement they need to take the academic route – and to get the type of balanced education they need to feel confident enough to challenge the inequities faced by boys, men and fathers throughout the world, by subscribing on Youtube, Twitter and Facebook, by generating your own media to spread the word about Tom's potentially game-changing case, and by donating to the legal fighting fund, at sexismbusters.org

Source: Sex discrimination at London School of Economics (http://www.avoiceformen.com/a-voice-for-men/sex-discrimination-at-london-school-of-economics/)

2houses Makes Co-Parenting Easier | TechCrunch

Men's Health Australia — Fri, 04 Nov 2011 08:47:00 +0000

Today, 2houses launches in public beta, offering separated or divorced parents a set of digital tools to easily communicate about and make arrangements with regards to their children.

This is obviously a large – and, in my opinion, unfortunately a growing – market to tap, and what I like about 2houses is that the founder is a divorced parent himself and started the company to scratch his own itch.

I also dig the company name and logo, though that’s obviously personal.

Parents who are no longer married, living together or romantically involved, can use 2houses to organize child custody, share reports about school and medical information, and track expenses.

And let’s face it. Often, split families will avoid a lot of personal tension, stress, discussions and all-out fights when they can communicate online on a neutral platform rather than talking face-to-face or over the phone – or using the kids as messengers.

With a Web platform, 2houses aims to basically make things a lot smoother for everyone involved, including the children. You can find some screenshots below – mobile apps are the next step.

And if you’re still happily together with your significant other, you can use 2houses’ Facebook app to calculate when you’ll be separating.

While in beta, 2houses will remain free of charge to allow separated and divorced parents to test the service and share their feedback with the founders. When the full version is released – likely in February 2012 – the monthly fee will amount to 6 euros per month (with a free 2-month trial period).

2houses was founded in Belgium in May 2011, by CEO Gill Ruidant. The startup graduated from Brussels Founder Institute, and also won first place at the Spring 2011 Brussels Semester.

Full disclosure: I was a Founder Institute Brussels mentor that semester, which means I’m indirectly a minor shareholder of all graduates, including 2houses.

Source: 2houses Makes Co-Parenting Easier | TechCrunch (http://techcrunch.com/2011/11/04/2houses-makes-co-parenting-easier/?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+Techcrunch+%28TechCrunch%29&partner=skygrid)

Schoolboys thrive on risk at recess

Men's Health Australia — Fri, 21 Oct 2011 07:50:00 +0000

On a Razor's edge … students show their scooter skills at Tudor House. Photo: Brendan Esposito

FOR generations children have complained that school can be cruel and unusual punishment. Now it seems some headmasters are listening, introducing more breaks during the school day and explicitly recognising the value of running wild.

John Stewart, the headmaster of Tudor House, a private boys' school at Moss Vale, is adding an extra recess to the day with classroom doors locked to push boys to push the limits.

''For boys to be sitting in a classroom, contained behind a desk for hours on end, just skilling and drilling that can help you improve in a test score, is not only archaic, it is cruel. We felt boys needed more time to play and that social and emotional learning is just as important as reading and writing skills.''

Rough and tumble ... boys are encouraged to learn through physical play at Tudor House. Photo: Brendan Esposito

Children at the kindergarten to year 6 school are encouraged to ride bikes, skateboards, fly kites, build bases and climb trees during recess and lunchtime. Electronic games, computers and mobile phones are banned.

Angus Macdonald, 12, says the risk still ''depends if the teachers are there or not'', but loves the opportunity for adventure. Some boys get hurt ''but only occasionally''.

''You're always going to have an accident at school, someone's always going to get hurt,'' he said.

Mr Stewart fears risk has become a dirty word. ''Our risk assessment is all based on the risk of injury and we have to rethink that … and consider the risk of the loss of a learning or leadership opportunity,'' he said. ''If we continually ban cartwheels and ban soccer we're taking away a whole element of social and emotional growth.''

His concerns are echoed by Jim Cooper, the president of the NSW Primary Principals Association, who says a ''bubble wrap'' syndrome is affecting the development of children.

''I see it as absolutely vital that boys in particular have the chance to blow off a bit of steam at recess, lunchtime and in breaks,'' Mr Cooper said. His school, Albion Park Public, is one of many to introduce a ''munch and crunch'' fruit break during the first two-hour block of the day.

But it's not just time out of the classroom but what children can do in it that is important. At some schools young students, who are confined to asphalt areas during breaks, are essentially not allowed to run. Monkey bars can only used under adult supervision. Ball games are restricted.

''There's got to be a little bit of risk-taking for kids otherwise they learn nothing,'' said Mr Cooper, who has no doubt principals are responding to community pressure, and the risk of legal action. ''The pressure is not coming from schools. Schools are being forced into doing this because of the expectations of helicopter parents.''

edu@smh.com.au

Source: Schoolboys thrive on risk at recess (http://www.smh.com.au/national/education/schoolboys-thrive-on-risk-at-recess-20111020-1madc.html)

Porn is not a dirty word

Men's Health Australia — Sun, 16 Oct 2011 07:05:00 +0000

About 82 per cent of porn users in Australia are male and 55 per cent married, a survey of 1000 users found.

Many men believe pornography is harmless and women should stop banging on about it.

'MY WIFE doesn't show much enthusiasm for sex. She will passively let me do things and this annoys me as it is a real turn on to have women really enthusiastic and getting off on giving you pleasure. So when she's asleep I turn to porn where all these young women appear to be totally enthusiastic about pleasing the man. I know it's all acting and they are only doing it for money and that it's not fair to expect my wife to be like these porn actresses, but in my fantasy world this is what I love and get off on. I'll do it for up to an hour, slowly, going from video to video on my laptop, while my wife is sound asleep. I can take as long as I want and get lost in my own world.''

Late at night in so many suburban homes there are men like this one, hunched over flickering computer screens looking at pornography. Often their partners aren't aware of what they are doing, assuming the poor dears are simply working late or catching up on a missed sports podcast. Most men keep these viewing habits to themselves - secret men's business - fearing discovery would mean a solid stint in the doghouse.

Everywhere men look there's another woman banging on about the dangers of porn. British sociologist Gail Dines was recently holding forth on the ABC's Q&A about the damage done by ''body-punishing, brutal, dehumanising and debasing'' pornography.

Then came one of the viewer's video questions, featuring Jeff Poole, a cheerful man with a greying goatee. ''Miss Dines, I am one of the third of the Australian population who cheerfully consumes pornography,'' he said, explaining he had been watching porn for more than 30 years. ''In all those many thousands of hours of wobbling pink bits, I've never seen any of the things you talk about. I've never seen the degradation of women or men for that matter. I've never seen rape, real or simulated. I have never seen violence.'' Porn, he added, had never harmed his relationships.

He spoke for a huge audience of men who hear constant negative discussion of pornography and wonder why their own experiences are so very different. ''What's the problem?'' they say, bewildered at women's outrage at what they see as a harmless outlet for the strong male sex drive.

To many men, porn seems a perfectly normal aspect of male sexuality that provides comfort and entertainment, and redresses the serious sexual imbalance between male and female desire. (The problem of lost libido in women is well documented - Doing it Down Under, published in 2005, cited the results of a university survey of about 20,000 people that found 55 per cent of women reported low sexual desire, twice the number of men.)

For all the scaremongering about misogynist, hate-filled porn, the attraction for most men is the antithesis of violence against women. What most men really like watching is sex involving eager, willing women.

Men are often defensive about their use of porn, not understanding what the fuss is all about. ''Yes, I have always been interested in pictures of women and of people copulating or whatever. I feel somewhat embarrassed at the thought of being caught watching, by wife or daughter but, what the heck, I am a grown man of 59. I suppose my wife knows I occasionally watch internet porn (but maybe not how much). I don't think she approves but since we don't have sexual contact I suppose she ignores it.''

This is from a man who took part in my recent project on male sexuality (published last year in my book, What Men Want), involving 150 men writing about their sexual joys and frustrations, including how they cope with their strong drives.

Like many, this man had spent years with no sex in his marriage. Pornography provided such men with an outlet that helped keep a lid on their frustrations - sometimes with a partner's reluctant consent.

One 37-year-old reported his wife had asked him early in their marriage if he'd be willing to give up watching porn. ''I responded by saying yes and then asked her whether she would have sex whenever I felt like it, given that I would not have any pornography. She said no, so to this day I still have my porn. These days my wife accepts it and I think she actually prefers I watch pornography instead of hassling her for sex.''

Separate interviews I conducted with young men aged 23 to 35 show many men seek out porn rather than pressure a partner for sex. Dale*, 25, has a great sex life with his partner of two years but there are times mid-week when he knows she's too stressed for sex. ''I don't want to bother her if I know she doesn't want it. Watching porn and wanking means it's done and dusted in five minutes. It's quick and easy and relaxes me - no big deal.''

Yet it was a pretty big deal when she caught him doing just that some time ago. Her hissy fit wasn't just about the porn but the masturbation - she's happy to share a porn movie with him occasionally and it turns them both on. But it took some persuading for her to accept that the occasional hand job didn't mean he wasn't happy with their love life. Watching porn for most men is accompanied by masturbation - and that's something many women still find hard to accept. Many women react to the masturbation as a separate issue from porn because they worry they aren't satisfying a man if he masturbates.

The intrigue of pornography for men is also driven by their intense curiosity about sex and their powerful, visual sexual imagination. There's always been fuel for this - one man reported spending his adolescence poring over shopping catalogues: ''The best ones were when Kmart or Target had a sale on underwear - all these young women in sexy underwear. It was irresistible.''

While the older men in my project wrote about poring over dad's stolen Playboys, today's young men grow up with an internet sexual smorgasbord. Most report roaming far and wide, from vanilla sex to the ''oh my God'' offerings. One mentions breakfast conversations at his university college, dominated by boys sharing notes on the latest online ''girl shagged by donkey'' type video. Throughout history there has been sexual material designed to stir male loins, from Roman frescoes and Japanese screen prints to Victorian ''dirty postcards''.

Yet other motivations also push men away from real-life sex towards the comforts of porn. These complexities were vividly revealed by a couple who wrote diaries for my research. To begin with, Zoe, 38, was fine about her husband Leo, 44, using porn to masturbate: ''I'm well aware men like to relax with porn. It's a real boys' club.''

But normal sex presented problems for Leo because his wife was more sexually experienced than he was, contributing to his anxiety about losing erections. Plus he wasn't keen on the sex Zoe really enjoyed. ''He doesn't like a lot of foreplay or kissing. He thinks it's all girly crap.'' This was also a second marriage for them both, complicated by major struggles over stepchildren - the couple wrote more in their diaries about the hassles of a blended family than they did about sex.

As the tensions in their relationship increased, Leo retreated more into the world of porn.

''Watching porn gets me aroused which leads to masturbation. This helps me relax and sleep and it is a lot less effort than actual sex. With Zoe, some of my anxiety kicks in about losing my erection so in some ways porn is almost better than actual sex as I can watch it for one to two hours and there is an endless supply of beautiful women, all doing stuff most of us guys can only dream of.''

Zoe is a volatile woman whose reaction to conflict was often explosive. Leo's response was to retreat, turning more to porn. Tensions then spilt over into their sexual relationship. ''He would like me to behave like a porn actress,'' Zoe complained. Within eight months the couple had split up, leaving Zoe convinced porn had poisoned their marriage. Yet the situation was complicated by Leo's sexual anxiety and his immature sexual attitudes.

That's the problem with the common argument that porn turns men off real-life sex. The reality is sex can be threatening for men, particularly if they have fears about performance or partners who are hard to please.

''Pornography can be a thick emotional buffer zone, separating a man from rejection, masking his insecurities and perceived inadequacies,'' write sexologists Bob and Susan Yager-Berkowitz in their 2007 book, He's Just Not Up For It Anymore. Most men are sensible enough to avoid retreating into a sexual fantasy world. I've talked to men who cut back on their porn viewing when they felt it was distorting their feelings about normal sex. ''One time I was using it a lot and I found sex with my partner wasn't as exciting as it usually was. After that I was careful how I use it. I don't want that to happen,'' says Joe, a 26-year-old arts student. But lonely men, socially inadequate men, are more vulnerable to the seductive comfort of porn.

Of course there are men whose upbringing and social experience draws them towards misogynist, violent pornography. Many of the young men I spoke to were aware of men caught up in this world. One talked of mates he went to school with who had always had ''strange attitudes to women, seeing them as sex objects''.

Their attraction to particular porn fantasies - ''like 50 guys with one woman'' - simply reflected the way they had always seen women. Most men aren't interested in this violent material. ''I don't like the mean stuff … that's just not my personality,'' commented one young man, mentioning that he worries whether women in porn films are being coerced into participating.

The suggestion that porn changes men's attitudes to sex is really questionable. While there's a body of psychology research suggesting exposure to porn has that effect, Professor Catherine Lumby and colleagues in The Porn Report, published in 2008, found this laboratory-based research to be contradictory and unlikely to reflect real-life situations. ''The entire tradition of social science research into pornography has started with the assumption that porn is a major cause of negative attitudes towards women and has set out to prove this,'' conclude these Australian academics.

These researchers found mainstream porn to be largely free of violence and other degrading material. Instead, the huge growth area online is the DIY amateur porn industry, where ordinary men and women are baring all, grunting and groaning in front of web cameras - a far cry from the dark and dangerous world so many warn about.

Many men will admit porn has opened their eyes to new sexual practices. Many use porn to enjoy fantasies they can't get at home. Alex, 65, has always had an interest in anal sex, which his wife won't consider.

And that's where porn comes in - seeing women apparently enjoying this taboo activity is very much part of his pleasure. His wife allows him to rub his penis between her butt cheeks. ''I find having sex in her bum crack such a turn on. My brain knows one thing but my dick does not have a brain so thinks it is right into her anus,'' he cheekily explains.

Anal sex is high on the list of porn fantasies that rarely get played out in real life - although in some couples both partners enjoy it. Porn has also helped to change attitudes to oral sex, shifting it from an experience that 30 years ago most men only dreamt about, to an hors d'oeuvre that for many teens is on offer long before the main course. This shift in oral sex patterns is often mentioned as an example of the negative effects of porn - since it is usually males on the receiving end. Yet there's ample evidence that porn has also taught men that cunnilingus is a great route to women's pleasure. Many men are keen to try it but research by sex therapist Gabrielle Morrissey showed young women's self-consciousness about their bodies often prevents this from happening.

Porn is giving men new ideas about sex and that can cause tension in relationships. Many young men report trouble over the ''money shot'' - that peculiar in-her-face finale common in pornography. Unsurprisingly, many women aren't keen on ''facials'' (having a man ejaculate in her face). James, a 35-year-old engineer, found himself backpedalling fast with a very upset young lady reacting badly to this suggestion. ''I realised it wasn't appropriate or respectful,'' he reports and has never tried it since. But other men find women happy to explore this rather strange practice.

So yes, internet porn is encouraging some men to suggest exotic practices - and some women take offence at that. But others are happy to participate and to watch porn, with or without their partners. The problem comes when men try to bully women into things they don't want to do - but arguably porn has nothing to do with the insensitivity causing men to behave in that way, which stems from their cultural and social backgrounds.

For all the sky-is-falling warnings about pornography, the reality is far less frightening. Pornography brings out the worst in some vulnerable men and that's cause for concern. But the real struggle is for women to come to terms with what pornography reveals about men and their relentless, lusty drive. That's what many women just don't want to know.

* False names have been used for people quoted talking about their pornography use.

Bettina Arndt is a former clinical psychologist and sex therapist and author of What Men Want - In Bed.

Source: Porn is not a dirty word (http://www.theage.com.au/technology/technology-news/porn-is-not-a-dirty-word-20111015-1lqqe.html)