Book review of "The Good Men Project: Real Stories From the Frontline of Manhood" by K.C. Glover

David Gilmore in his expertly crafted study of masculinity, Manhood in the Making: Cultural Concepts of Masculinity (1992), points out that manhood is nearly ubiquitous in the cultures of the world. Very early on in his book, Gilmore introduces us to the Fox Indians, one of the aboriginal peoples of North America, whose word for manhood translates into English as “the Big Impossible.” Anyone involved in discussions of manhood would do well to remember this fact. With this in mind I undertook a reading of The Good Men Project, a collection of thirty-one essays written by “a broad range of men – rich, poor, black, white, gay, straight, urban, rural, famous, [and] ordinary” (from the back cover).

If anyone has had the displeasure of sitting through a gender studies course in contemporary academe, he may be familiar with a kind of class that is run as a sort of self-help group, where mostly young women trade stories of victimhood at the hands of the patriarchy amid rage and tears, while the two or three silent young men in class sweat profusely in their chairs. Luckily for us The Good Men Project is not like one of these classes. While a few of the stories delve into that weepy emotionalism, for the most part these essays have, as another reviewer put quite succinctly, “balls.” The men who wrote these essays are not trying to burden us with their problems or to saturate us with their emotions, but to give us snapshots from the stories of their lives, some of which are able to deliver a devastating emotional payload precisely because of their reserve and dignity. These stories break the great male silence and allow us to start our own analysis.

From New Male Studies: An International Journal - Vol. 2, Issue 1, 2013, pp. 78-81.

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13 Reasons it is Unlucky to be Male

An abridged version of this article appeared as an op-ed in the Newcastle Herald on November 17, 2012.

November 19 is International Men’s Day: a time to promote male role models; to celebrate men’s contributions to society; to focus on men’s health and wellbeing; to highlight discrimination against males; and to improve gender relations and promote gender equality.

As someone who wants both my son and my daughter to flourish across all areas of life, I am frequently reminded that our society and media do a particularly poor job of highlighting and addressing areas in which males face disadvantage. Thankfully we have women’s offices, ministries and NGOs working tirelessly to improve the areas in which women still fare poorly. This is not the case for men.

We seem to have a cultural blind spot around men and gender politics. When a man has a problem, it is frequently seen as his own fault, whereas women’s problems are more often attributed to others or to society. For example, we hear that men are to blame for their own poor health (“men don’t go to the doctor”), whereas young women’s high levels of eating disorders are blamed upon the cultural pressure to be thin.

The portrayals of men in modern day media are often negative – as violent murderers, wife bashers, sexual abusers, deadbeat dads, and bumbling idiots – even though, in reality, only a small proportion of men act out these roles and behaviours. This compounds the lack of compassion for men’s issues.

Our society often assumes that ‘men have it good’ and only women carry the burden of gender-based disadvantage. The evidence strongly contradicts this. Here are 13 areas in which men and boys need our help. I would ask that you picture an important male in your life as you read them – be it your son, brother, husband, best mate or father. Many thanks to Glen Poole from the Men’s Network in England for the idea for this article.

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Victorian Male Health Conference - important development

The inaugural Victorian Male Health Conference is less than one week away and there has been an important development:   

Unfortunately the Conference has not been able to attract sufficient registrations to make the Gathering financially viable over two days.

Consequently, the Gathering has been reduced to a one day program to be held on Monday 19 November, details of which are attached.  This will still be an action-packed conference, with many of the original presenters still appearing.  It’s a professional development day to be spent with like-minded colleagues.  In addition, one of Australia’s top comedians, Ben Price, is making an appearance right at the beginning with ‘What Price Male Health?’ 

The Committee regrets the need to make these changes, but believes that what they are providing will be great value for both the time and money spent. In fact it may now be more viable for you to attend – less money and less time. What better way to spend International Men’s Day – particularly if you work with men!

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Movember and Sons: Open for Business

OFFICIAL MO NEWS & CULTURE

Movember 2012 has arrived and we're getting down to the raw hard truths of the past two years and taking a look, quite simply, at what it means to be a better man. 2012 is the year of Movember & Sons. The collective knowledge of generations gives us great power to avoid mistakes of the past, plan thoughtfully for the future and to become the best version of one’s self. Register and join the family business as a Moustache Merchant. Together, we can change the face of men's health.

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The myth of the tyrannical dad (BBC News, UK)

Lily Barron (nee Jones), left, and family when her father was home on leave

Fathers of yesteryear tend to be portrayed as cold, detached, even callous creatures. But, says Steve Humphries, the cuddly, hands-on, sentimental dads we know today are by no means a modern-day creation.

Every night when 98-year-old Lily Barron goes to bed, she looks at the large framed photographs that line her bedroom wall and says a prayer for her father, "the most important man in my life. I loved every inch of him."

Lily's dad was a miner who lived with his wife and four young children in the town of Blackwood in south Wales. In his attitudes to his children, he was in some ways surprisingly modern. He never smacked them, he read bedtime stories, and he cuddled and kissed them every day. Twice-married Lily remembers him as "the loveliest and gentlest man I ever knew".

This image of the gentle and loving Edwardian working class father is at odds with our general perception of fathers in the past. We tend to picture them as tyrannical patriarchs whose children were seen and not heard and lived in fear of father's punishments. It is only in recent decades - or so we imagine - that dads have become approachable, caring and committed to the wellbeing of their children. Nothing could be further from the truth.

The testimonies of fathers, and of their sons and daughters during the first half of the 20th Century, reveal just how prevalent the loving and devoted dad was.

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